Five reasons why I think The Da Vinci Code is a piece of crap

[Warning: spoilers ahead if you are one of the lucky few who have not yet read the book]

1. For such riveting prose (Langdon has just learned that he is to be accused of murder and is trying to escape from the museum):

   Langdon looked displeased. "I'll meet you there on one condition," he replied, his voice stern.
   
   She paused, startled. "What's that?"
   
   "That you stop calling me Mr. Langdon."
   
   (Sophie) felt herself smile back.

   (I still get goosebumps when I read this)


2. Sophie's grandmother and brother are living in Scotland in a well-known place, one that Sophie would very likely visit in her professional capacity, and yet she has no idea about them.


3. After dispelling the reader's suspicions that Sophie might have a royal bloodline, finally revealing that the reader's suspicions were in fact well-founded. That was indeed a cheap trick to pull.


4. For going out of the way to stay on the right side of Opus Dei, while using them as a whipping boy.


5. Dude, why don't you decide once and for all whether you are a suspense thriller writer or a Simon Singh wannabe?